Keeping the peace in my house used to be taboo. There was constant fighting and yelling. It seemed no matter what I did, said, or even felt an argument was bound to break out. That is until I learned some positive parenting tips that have worked wonders for us and I believe will work for you too!
First, I feel that I should share with you that my son who is ten years old may possibly have mild autism. This actually came as a shock last year when we first began noticing Tics.
If you are not aware of what Tics are they are common motor and vocal outburst that include but are not limited to:
- Throat clearing or sniffling
- Shoulder shrugs
- Neck twitches
RELATED POST: Parenting A Child With Tics
Although my son has not been 100% diagnosed with autism he scored higher than normal on the test putting him at the mild level. This used to be known as Asperger syndrome. But it is now just referred to as mild autism.
I will be honest with you….
I felt like a horrible mom
When we found out he scored higher than normal. Why did I feel so bad? Because I realized I was yelling at my son for things he could not control.
It was nothing to get upset with him because he didn’t comprehend something so simple. Little did I know something so simple to us is not so simple to him.
Since learning new techniques and how to better parent him I can see a huge difference. He is a lot less stressed and is way more cooperative. Not as cooperative as a child with no issues like adhd, tics, or autism but cooperative enough.
Positive parenting tips and techniques definitely had a lot to do with the change.
What Is Positive Parenting
Positive parenting is anything except fluffy. Positive parenting is holding your child accountable for their actions and the expectations we have for them.
Positive parenting is NOT giving your child a trophy because they participated. Honestly, I think that has been the biggest Parent Fail of all time. But that’s just my opinion.
1. What is the importance of positive parenting?
Positive parenting strengthens relationships between parents and children. This approach helps make parents more sensitive, responsive and consistent in interacting with their children, and it makes children happier, more optimistic and more motivated to choose behaviors that we as parents want to see.
2. What is negative parenting?
Negative Parenting is basically child aggression. When parents express negative emotions toward their children the child is more likely to return the same negativity.
This is exactly what was happening in my home. Instead of choosing positive parenting I was showing negativity by allowing myself to be angered easily. I would yell, slam doors, and sometimes even throw things.
The sad part is I couldn’t figure out why my child was acting out in the exact way.
Monkey see Monkey do
Our children look up to us. We can’t act one way and expect them to act another. It just does not work that way. By showing positivity in all areas even discipline our children are more likely to respond.
Positive Parenting Strategies
There are several things we can do to stay positive. Some Positive Parenting Strategies are:
- Avoid teasing, yelling, or threatening your children.
- Give your children the responsibility and freedom they earned
- Help your children learn ways to problem-solve and teach them how to make positive decisions.
Brittany over at Equipping Godly Women has a great post Tired of Yelling at Your Kids? 5 Ways to Get Mom Anger Under Control that I think you may enjoy when you finish this post.
Positive Parenting Solutions
I am not an expert in this area, I’m just a mom who has failed miserably. My son used to whine all the time over everything.
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Of course my first instinct was to scream at him because I just can’t handle whining. It gets to me like fingernails on a chalkboard!
So some positive parenting solutions I have found that work instead of losing my voice are:
- Stay calm
- Walk away
- Pray (Yes pray! Believe it or not God wants to be a part of everything we go through both big and small even our parenting)
- Make a joke of the situation (ask where their real voice went and is it hiding)
Showing our children grace when they are acting like little devils can be challenging to say the least.
The Bible continuously talks about love and how important love is. This is true when it comes to our children as well.
God gets angry with us when do sin however he still loves us unconditionally and most of all He stays calm.
Staying calm in a moment when your child is acting out isn’t always easy. This is something that has to be practiced and done on purpose.
It is super important that you don’t say something out of anger that you will later regret.
Forgive your children immediately just as God forgives us. And let them know you forgave them. It is important that we teach the importance of forgiveness by expressing it ourselves.
Grab them and hold them tight. Sometimes they just need to know that we love them.
A few weeks back, my son was having a really bad day. He just had one of those attitudes that wouldn’t leave.
Finally I had enough and couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed him and held tight. He of course was very confused and might I add not a touchy feely type of kid.
He will give you a hug and kiss when he wants to. So for me to grab tight and not let go of him really confused him.
However, he calmed down. I think he was able to feel my motherly love just like we feel our father’s love.
Keep in mind that all children are different . What might work for one child may not work for another.
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