Introverted Parenting can be tough at times. If your not introverted then you can’t begin to imagine what it is like for us introverted parents. But if you are introverted with kids then you know exactly what I am talking about when I say Introverted Parenting.
I remember when my daughter was younger I avoided school activities at all cost. I avoided birthday parties where I had to stay with her and any and all play-dates!
Besides the fact that I was young, I was introverted too and that alone gave me anxiety when I so much as thought about interacting with other humans.
Introverts such as myself really like to be alone or out of the spotlight. Just being around others can drain us. Loud and noisy doesn’t usually fit well into our lives.
This makes it a bit more of a challenge when your an introverted parent. Just having kids over for a sleepover can be exhausting.
My son is who now 10 has had a few sleepovers and I would like to say they were successful but that just wouldn’t be true.
I’m telling you my kids always seem to find the friends that like to talk. Sigh.
Being Introverted In An Extroverted World
Not all introverts are the same. One thing we all have in common though is that we all like our space. Space to be alone or just stay home where we can mind our own business.
Some introverts are shy, like myself, and some are not. Some are socially awkward, like myself, and some are not.
Meghan Telpner has a great post on Being An Introvert In An Extrovert World. I really like how she points out Better Ways To Care For Introverts In Your Life.
Sometimes I feel alone, like no one gets it. At least I felt that way until I met my husband who is also an introvert.
He is ok sitting at home with me while we re-energize. Sometimes work kicks our butts and we just want peace and quiet and a good movie.
It can often be a challenge having relationships when you’re an introvert. So when you meet someone who gets you it’s pretty amazing. My husband is definitely my best friend by far!
As I mentioned above it is challenging enough finding someone to share your life with that gets you. It is by far even more challenging when you have a child.
For me relationships in general has always been hard. I believe this is why I have resorted to Introverted Parenting.
One thing I can not stand is when someone tells me how to raise my kids. I think what bothers me most though is when they tell me “I would do this” yet they don’t really do it. Just another reason I prefer to stay to myself and parent my kids the way I best see fit.
Introverted Mother Extroverted Child
As an introverted mother with an extroverted child it can sometimes be exhausting but also relieving.
My son seems to make friends no matter where we go. My daughter on the other hand when she was younger she would rather stick by my side.
My 10 year and my 21 year old are like day and night. She was quiet, like me, and more reserved. My 10 year old is loud, sometimes obnoxious, and the complete opposite of reserved.
Introverted Mom Thoughts
Introverted mom thoughts…. Where do I even begin?
Well one thing I promised was to always be transparent with my readers. No matter what.
As an introvert, you have a lot of time to think. I mean a lot of time.
Sometimes while driving I like to turn the radio off because I need that quietness. Unfortunately, that is when things begin to manifest in my mind.
Introverted mom thoughts include but are not limited to school shootings, earthquakes, tornadoes, car accidents, and so much more.
The introverted mom thoughts aren’t all bad though. I do have good thoughts like silly memories that make me laugh. Or something my son or daughter said earlier that morning or the day before.
I even have introverted mom thoughts of saving others and being the hero. Which is absolutely crazy, I know. The thing is I wouldn’t even want to be recognized as a hero. I would definitely want to stay anonymous.
When I walk into a store, I can’t help but look for exits as soon as I walk in. Of course I have always been this way. Prepared for anything.
Me and my family recently took the CCL class in our state to become qualified to carry a gun. The process took longer than we expected. In fact my husband still hasn’t received his yet.
Every since the mass shootings in Texas and Ohio, I can’t help but keep playing over and over in my mind how I will respond if something like that happens while we are in a store.
Always being prepared I had “The Talk” with my 10 year old son and what to do if we were ever faced with such an incident. You can read my open letter to our governor here —-> Dear JB Pritzker
Introvert vs Extrovert
An introvert is a person who remains isolated, or enjoys the company of a few close friends or family members. Me personally I would rather be alone 99% of the time.
Just the thought of being around a bunch of people makes me uncomfortable. I get tongue tied, nervous, and say things that I later regret.
I am very self conscious so that doesn’t help. I say I don’t care what others think but deep down inside I am terrified everyone is secretly judging me or talking about me behind my back.
An extrovert is an outgoing and outspoken person who enjoys being around and talking to people. Openly communicate about themselves with people they know and trust.
Most extroverts enjoy constant company as this is how they re-energize.
When I was doing my research on introvert facts I came across this post on 10 Interesting Facts About Introverts and I have to tell you I was pretty surprised at what I found.
The article is definitely worth reading if you are Introverted Parenting or you know an Introvert.
The article states that there are 4 types of Introverts. This I didn’t know.
I don’t know if it is possible to be two but I am 100% the Thinking and the Anxious Introvert!
A Thinking Introvert are introspective, thoughtful, and self-reflective. They don’t have a strong need to stray from large social scenes (I don’t like large crowds but would rather be in a larger crowd verses a small crowd. I prefer large a church over a smaller church.) They are often avid daydreamers with rich imaginations and a high capacity for creativity. I am a huge daydreamer with a rich imagination!
An Anxious Introvert seeks time to be alone, because they often feel awkward and self-conscious (me again). Unlike social introverts, anxious introverts experience painful shyness when they’re around new people (I am so shy it is ridiculous). The anxiety doesn’t necessarily go away either when they’re alone because they let things play over and over again in their heads over what could’ve gone or went wrong (me again).
According to the article you are a Social Introvert if you prefer small groups over large ones, or may prefer solitude altogether. According to Cheek, they like to stay at home with a book or computer, or hang out with close friends instead of going to parties with many unfamiliar faces. It’s different, however, from shyness, because there’s no anxiety attached to their driven needs of solitude.
And a Restrained Introvert if you function on a slower pace and prefer to think before you speak and act. Known for being reserved, restrained introverts take time to get things going, because they don’t let impulse affect their decision-making.
The other 9 Interesting Facts About Introverts are (1 being the 4 Types of Introverts):
- Introverts react quickly to new information, but are slower to monitor change.
- Introverts dread small talk.
- Introverts need alone time.
- Introverts aren’t risk-averse, but they are more careful and calculated about what risks they choose to take.
- Introverts are deep thinkers.
- Introverts are more creative.
- Introverts like the rain. (I do not like rain so I disagree)
- Pretending to be extroverted for introverts can affect their performance negatively.
- Happiness might not be a top priority for introverts, and it’s actually okay.
To read the full article go here —-> 10 Interesting Facts About Introverts.
Introverts In Church and Introverted Parenting
Introverts in church and introverted parenting is such a huge challenge. Extroverts have no idea.
As I mentioned above, I prefer a larger church over a smaller church.
Let’s be honest, Christians gossip and we gossip a lot. It’s not okay by any means but we all do it.
Sometimes we do unintentionally and other times we do it intentionally. Either way it is wrong and against God.
My biggest fear in church has always been being judged on my parenting style. When my son was younger, he is 10 now, he was a Holy Terror! I’m not kidding.
He has always been the class clown and a very strong willed child from the day he was conceived.
There were many times I was embarrassed to be his mom.
I know how that must sound but I’m being honest. When you pick your child up from the church daycare or Sunday school the last thing you want to hear is how bad they were.
All you can think as an Introvert in Church is
What must they think of me?
Honestly, this is selfish to think this way. It’s like saying the world revolves around me and everyone is focused on my parenting.
I heard recently that no one is thinking about us. They are thinking about themselves.
Although I do believe this to be true, I also believe we do think of others, especially when we are dealing with our own insecurities.
Insecurities such as Introverted Parenting or Introverts in Church. Because being truthful it is hard being an introvert in the church. And it is even harder being an introverted parent in the church.
So please, if you know someone who is practicing introverted parenting please be patient with them!
When our child acts out in public it is hard for us. We feel as if all eyes are on us.
How will they discipline that little brat?
If that was my child I would….
That child needs a good butt whooping!
Those are just some of the thoughts that I feel burning my skin from the stares as I attempt to correct my child.
Something else that really bothers me as an Introvert Parent is when another adult jumps in while I am attempting to discipline my kid.
Don’t talk to your mom like that!
We as Introverts appreciate the help but really don’t need it.
All that does is creates a thought in the child’s mind that we aren’t serious and they can push our buttons just a little further while we are in public. Especially when no other adults are around.
Everyone parents their own way. I like to think that I am a little more Old Fashioned than most.
I believe in spankings if necessary. And I feel that kids should not interrupt adults nor should they butt into adult conversations.
Of course my son does both of these. But so didn’t I as a child. A child has their place and it isn’t in the adult world.
Unfortunately, kids these days think they are grown. But that’s because kids these days are treated like they are grown.
Introverted Parenting is no different than Extroverted Parenting. We just choose to stay to ourselves instead of joining mom groups or signing our kids up for every single school / church activity on the calendar.
Share some Humbleness!