How to enjoy married life. Is that even possible? When I got married the first time I was 16 years old. Not only did I not know what love was but I definitely wasn’t ready for marriage. Divorced by 19 with a baby I still had a lot to learn.
Married life was the least of my worries even though I was desperate for a husband. You see you can be married but not be actively committed to your spouse. I know because this is how my second marriage was.
Most of life I blamed the world and everyone around me for my failures and adversity. Therefore I lived a very miserable life.
In my mind however, instead of turning to God, I turned to the world for love to fill the whole in my heart. Even if that included being with someone I didn’t love.
Because I was desperate to be married again I got engaged twice after my first husband. When neither engagement followed through I simply moved onto the next. That is when I met and married my second husband.
Once again here I was married, this time to a man I despised. When things got to the breaking point and I felt in my heart we needed to go our separate ways I turned to my church for help.
If your a Christian then I am sure you are well aware of God’s view on marriage. So of-course my church suggested that I try to work things out and if we divorce I was to let him file.
You can read the entire story on that by clicking the Related Post below.
Related Post: Christians And Divorce – A Twice Divorced Christian
Long story short we divorced and I vowed to never marry again! At least until I met my now husband.
Believe me it is super embarrassing sharing with the world that I was married twice before. I often wonder what people think of me when they learn this.
I know it isn’t any of my business what others think of me but it is hard not to wonder.
On the bright side the marriage I am in now is stronger than ever. I absolutely adore my husband and he adores me. If there is a such thing as a soulmate then he is mine for sure.
Keep reading and I will share how to enjoy married life.
Marriage Life Or Married Life
A few years before I met husband I made the choice to focus on what I wanted in a husband and not what I didn’t want. I even went to the extent to write them down.
One of the things on my list to have was a married life and not a marriage life. My last two marriages were exactly that, a marriage life.
What is the difference between Marriage Life or Married Life? Marriage life is when you have a marriage. You know, you have a family, pay bills, work, come home cook and clean, go to bed, have occasional sex and that is pretty much it.
A married life is much different. Married life is when:
- You enjoy one another
- You can laugh at and with one another
- You pick your battles
- You are slow to anger
- You love being around one another
- You enjoy doing things together
These are just some examples of what married life consists of and how to enjoy married life.
Before I met my husband I didn’t do much of anything. I went to work and came home. That was my day, day in and day out.
My days now are much different. We love to fish, hunt, and go to the range to shoot our Bows and yes our guns.
Read: Did I Marry The Wrong Person? By Jenna from Peaches & Prayer
Happiness In Marriage
I believe happiness in marriage is all about how you pursue your marriage. One thing a lot of people fail to realize is that marriage takes work. And a lot of it.
It is important to know each others likes and dislikes. Some say opposites attract and although this may be true it is still important to know one another on a more intimate level.
My husband and I are very much the opposite. Yet at the same time we balance one another out. I can sit here tell you all day how happy we are but that took work!
We have been married 2 years now and we still learn new things about one another. And let me tell you it’s the little things that matter most. Like my husband knowing the exact eye liner I love.
Did he always know which color and what number? No. But he took the time to listen to me when I complained that the store was always out of it.
The same goes for TV Shows and movies we watch. Yes, we watch a lot of the same shows but we each have our favorites that the other one doesn’t care for.
But that is OK. What do we do? We let the other one watch their show and we go find something else to do that we enjoy. For me it is reading or Blogging. For my husband its playing a game.
Whatever you do don’t NAG your spouse! If you don’t like something they do then ask them if you can talk about it. I guarantee there is something they don’t like that you do as well.
a. Failure To Communicate
My mom used to say, “Do we have a failure to communicate?” Oh how that used to drive me crazy as a kid. As an adult I have found that failure to communicate can make or break you. Most often break you.
If you are reading this post then you are probably wondering how to enjoy married life, right? Well honestly, like I said above it takes work. But it also takes communication.
If you don’t have communication then you don’t have a marriage. Therefore you are less likely to enjoy married life because what you will have is a marriage life instead. Keep in mind we all communicate in different ways.
Married Life Tips
Below are some married life tips on how to enjoy married life. Again a marriage takes work. What might work for one couple might not work for you.
Keep going and you will eventually find a balance.
a. Date Nights
Date nights are important whether you have been married a year or 20 years. Whether you have kids or no kids date nights are a must have.
You don’t have to do anything expensive or anything that cost money at all. My husband and I like to have date days. Because a lot of the stuff we enjoy has to be done during the day. Like fishing and kayaking.
Every Tuesday we go to the range and spend an hour shooting our Bows and or guns. This just happens to be something that we both enjoy and enjoy doing together.
b. Spice Up
Every marriage could use spice up at some point or another. Find out what your spouse likes most and do more of those things. This does not necessarily have to be sexual either.
My husband tells me every single day he loves me. He also tells me I’m pretty every day. Why because although he may feel that way he knows it makes me feel good too!
My husband loves to buy me things so I have to be careful when I say I like something because odds are I will have the following week if not sooner. However, I learned that my husband likes to receive gifts as well.
Oh where do I start. Honestly, I feel like an impostor when it comes to this subject. Our schedules literally wear us out. We are both in bed by 9 and up by 4. Even on our days off.
This has forced us to get creative with our sex life. Sometimes it is spontaneous and sometimes it is scheduled. Either way we make sure it happens. Why? Because sex is an important part of any marriage. The Bible even says so:
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV
Hopefully this post has helped to have a better understanding on how to enjoy married life. Although I am no expert I do in-fact enjoy my marriage.
It took me 2 failed marriages and a lot of heartache to get where I am now. But if it wasn’t for God’s guidance I wouldn’t be enjoying married life as I know it now.
Word of advice before I go “Keep God in your marriage and everything else will fall into place.”
Share some Humbleness!