Christians and divorce. Where do I even start? The Bible has many verses on divorce. Just as many as any other subject. Some Christians will be quick to condemn you for even thinking about divorce. I know, I am a twice divorced Christian who experienced this first hand.
In no way am I saying divorce is OK in God’s eyes. However, as a twice divorced Christian I do believe there are some things that are just out of our hands. Things we cannot control.
According to Focus On The Family the divorce rate with in the church is comparable to that of our culture. They also went on to suggest that most Christians see nothing wrong with divorce, at least in their own marriage that is.
You can’t see me but I just gave that “side ways” look. I am very much guilty of this myself. Well, too an extent because I really did try several times to make both of my marriages work. You can’t make someone else do something they don’t want to do.
Besides we are all human and our human emotions can only take so much. Especially if you have been cheated on repeatedly or you were emotionally or even physically abused. There is a line that needs to be drawn.
The Bible Says…
Well the Bible says a lot about divorce. It also says a lot about sex, alcohol, cursing, or wait what about our bodies? Hmm. Last time I checked it was OK to be a Christian, drink alcoholic beverages, cuss a little, oh and have tattoos! Just to name a few.
By gollie when it comes to divorce though you had better do everything you can to make that marriage work because God doesn’t like divorce. Well, He doesn’t like drunkards, sexual immorality, or liars either. But somehow divorce has managed to make its way to the top of the “no no’s” list.
Honestly, we all fall short of the glory of God no matter what we do. We are human and God knows that. He made us after all. In fact He knows us before we are even born. Which means He already knows how many times if any we will become divorced.
Christians and Divorce and Everything Else
The first time I got divorced it was because my husband cheated on me multiple times. The first time was with his ex girlfriend. The second time was with my best friend. The third time I didn’t know the girl. And the other times well I found out about them after we were divorced.
I once heard that a Christian woman should give her husband sex even when she doesn’t feel in the mood. It is said that this will keep him happy and less likely to go astray.
Again you can’t see me but I just gave the “side ways” look, again. Only because when I was married to my first husband we were young and sex was a must for the both of us. So, you can’t tell me giving it up every time your husband wants it will keep him in line.
If he wants to go out on you he is gonna go out on you. Same goes for the wife who cheats on her husband.
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My second husband, well he was a cheater, a liar, a verbal abuser, and so much more. I can’t fully blame him for the divorce even though he did cheat and verbally abuse me many times over.
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You see, I didn’t even love him. I only married him because I was in a bad place in my life and he just happened to be my escape goat. Biggest mistake I ever made.
As much as I love my son, if I could go back in time that is the one thing I would change. Never would I have married him.
Going Against The Church
When my second marriage came to an end there was nothing more I could do. I had tried to make it work several times. There really is only so much a person can do or take. Especially verbal / mental abuse.
Which brings me to the question “When is divorce okay?” 1st Corinthians 7:15 says:
But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
My first husband wanted a divorce. If he didn’t, he never would have cheated, right? He even left me and moved in with my so-called best friend. We had a 9 month old baby.
My second husband, whom I did not love but attempted to try and love on several occasions, left me for another woman. Actually he had his mom take him to Chicago (five hours away) to see her for the weekend.
I accidentally figured it out. He later married her. And she ended up divorcing him for cheating on her. That and she thought he had a bunch of money that he didn’t really have.
Some say KARMA – I say GOD.
Truth be told I am the one that filed for divorce in both marriages. If I hadn’t I would probably still be married to the first husband but we would not be together.
The same is true for my second marriage. However, my second husband went with me to file for the divorce. Because that is what my church said to do. To let him file.
Once we got to the court house to file papers the clerk handed me the papers and said I needed to file since I was requesting custodial custody of our son.
Did this put me in the wrong? Should I have refused? How would you have handled that situation?