Kids driving you crazy? As the Holidays are fast approaching us all I can think about is how my kids are going to drive me crazy. I know how that must sound but please hear me out.
I am mostly talking about my 10 year old who has adhd and possibly Asperger’s syndrome (they now call it mild autism). He, just as any kid gets bored so easily. Unfortunately he also gets frustrated easily too which is followed by anxiety.
It makes me feel like a horrible mom telling the world my kid sometimes drives me crazy but it’s true. And I know there are other moms out there that struggle with this as well.
Sometimes I look at other moms in public and I wonder to myself if they ever lose their patience. Do their kids ever misbehave? I mean they look so perfect.
Then of course I feel like I can’t take my kid anywhere without someone judging me. Don’t get me wrong, he is a good kid but he has his days.
Days where the attitude makes me want to pull my hair out and scream as loud as I can. But then there are the days when he melts my heart and makes me so proud.
I used to be such an angry mom. I yelled at my kids all the time because that was the only way I felt like I could get through to them. Over time I realized that was not the best solution and there had to be a better way.
Kids Driving You Crazy
Below are some steps that I have found help a lot when you are feeling overwhelmed and the kids are driving you crazy.
How do you stay calm when a child is misbehaving?
- Stop and Breathe
- Get Some Space
Now more than ever I find myself praying for strength when my son misbehaves. I even found myself saying things out of anger that I later regretted.
It took practice but now it is almost instant that I walk away and begin praying.
The devil will use our loved ones to distract us.
Being conscious of our decisions and actions take practice. But with a little determination we can do it and succeed at it. Just like being careful what we say to our kids out of anger.
What should you not say to your child?
- “I’m proud of you, but….”
- “You should set a good example for your….”
- “Wait until your father/mother gets home” …
- “I will never forgive you” …
- “I’m ashamed of you” …
- “Don’t worry, everything will be OK” …
- “Here, I’ll do it”
(Parenting Principles Workbook Available In The Library)
I don’t know about you but I have major control problem. My son is 10 and barely knows how to tie his shoes.
Why? Because I would always get frustrated and “Here, I’ll do it.” Sadly and I didn’t realize this until recently this actually makes our kids feel like they can’t do it.
Never ever have I told my kids I would never forgive them but I am sure I have said some of the other things a time or two.
Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? Stop Yelling At Them
After meeting with son’s school last year I realized that he needs consistency and a lot of patience. What might take me 2 minutes to complete will take him 10 minutes.
We also realized that we cannot give him more than one instruction at a time. Otherwise he gets confused and anxious. Which would lead to me yelling at him.
Once I started yelling he would either yell back or have a breakdown which often made things even worse. Through many trials and tribulations and finding what worked and didn’t work it was actually pretty simple.
As adults we have to pick our battles. And believe me it makes a world of difference. Below are some ways you can stop yelling at your kids and maybe just maybe they will stop driving you crazy.
- Use Face-to-face Communication. When you talk to your child, look them in the eye—don’t yell from the other room. Get down to their level. Yelling at kids when you are 5 foot 5 and they are only 3 foot 5 makes them feel very small and helpless.
- Have a Positive Attitude. No matter what stay positive and pray if you need to.
- Talk to Your Child about Yelling. Promise them you won’t yell if they won’t yell either.
- Pick your battles. I used to think walking away from my son having a temper tantrum was me letting him has his way. Now I understand that sometimes he needs to let it out.
- Hug your kids often. Even when they are upset at you or you are upset with them just grab them and hug them. Too often we get angry and forget about the love we have for our kids.
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